As the Austin area sees a surge in COVID-19 cases and enters stage five restrictions, couples may struggle with changing their behaviors as a result of the surge. It can be particularly challenging if members of a couple have differing opinions on changes they want to make to their lifestyle. These tips can help in navigating these challenging times. Remember that most people are feeling scared, angry, or sad about a new wave of cases of COVID-19.
Listen to each other and ask questions when you don’t understand
Listening to each other's points of view is critical during this time. Once you hear why your partner is wanting to take a certain action, you will be in a better place to understand their thoughts and feelings around the issue. It can be helpful to paraphrase what your partner said to cement your understanding and to make your partner feel heard. Stay focused and attentive to what your partner is saying and ask questions if you need to clarify certain points. If you disagree with your partner on an issue, calmly state your point of disagreement. It is important not to get defensive or call your partner names during this discussion. Keep in mind that staying calm can be difficult when discussing such a stressful topic. If you need to take a break during the discussion for one of you to calm down, that is ok.
Understand your health risks and comfort level
Responding to the pandemic looks different for certain people. Whether or not you have been vaccinated, your own physical and mental health needs and the condition of people you live with are some of the various factors to be considered. Talking to your doctor about your physical health concerns is a great place to start. You can also research recommendations to protect yourself from COVID-19. Just be sure that you check where you are getting your information from since unfortunately there is a lot of misinformation on the internet. Talk to your mental health counselor or research how to best minimize your risk to COVID-19 while also attending to ways to optimize your mental health during this difficult time. It is important to consider all factors in totality such as whether or not you can work from home and what the ramifications of that are. Consider the health risks and comfort level of your partner while you engage in a discussion with your partner.
If you disagree, make a plan that you both find acceptable
Ultimately there may be a disagreement of how as individuals you want to respond to the pandemic. We are all trying to adapt to a new normal as we have been for some time now. Although a plan may be less than ideal it may be sufficient to meet both your needs. For example, if one partner decides to work outside the home and the other is uncomfortable with this, the couple can sleep in separate bedrooms for the time being, and then the person who works outside the home can be tested regularly. There are numerous examples like this with different variables but the main idea is to fulfill both of your needs while maintaining a situation that is far from perfect but manageable. Previous waves of COVID-19 have eventually dissipated so it is important to keep in mind that any such plan will most likely be temporary which may make it more palatable.
It is normal for partners to disagree on how to respond to the most recent surge of COVID-19 in Central Texas. If you are in this situation it can be helpful to have a discussion, consider your health risks and comfort level and try to make a plan to navigate these difficult times together as a couple. If you are still struggling marriage counseling can help. Contact me today for a free consultation.