Do You Lack Clarity Or Confidence In Your Relationship?
Are you in a marriage or serious relationship that has come to a crossroads? Do you regularly experience conflict or breakdowns in communication with your partner? Is your relationship suffering as a result of infidelity or breach in trust?
Perhaps you are in a relatively new relationship and considering taking certain steps as a couple, like the decision to move in together or get married. Or perhaps you have been in a relationship for a while, and you have noticed the passion begin to fizzle. Regardless of your age, sexual orientation, or what stage in life you are, intimate or romantic relationships are complicated.
If questions about your relationship are causing indecision, feelings of sadness, or insecurity about the future, you and your partner don’t have to figure out how to reconcile your problems by yourselves. The guidance of an expertly trained therapist in marriage and couples counseling can help you to resolve the issues that are causing distress.
Unrealistic Expectations About Love And Marriage Can Lead To Conflict And Disappointment
Every couple experiences stress, and there is no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship. Unfortunately, however, our conceptions of marriage and committed relationships typically stem from fairytales and media portrayals that are not very realistic. Such expectations are solidified by a culture of social media that barrages our feeds with flawless couples living flawless lives together. We are conditioned to believe in storybook endings and perfect pairings, when in reality every single relationship faces its own unique set of negotiations and challenges..
Moreover, miscommunication is almost certainly inevitable for every relationship. There will be times when one partner incorrectly interprets the actions or words of another or when there is a sense that certain standards are not being met. We all know about “the honeymoon period” of a relationship, wherein it’s nearly impossible to imagine conflict with or disappointment in the person for whom we are developing romantic love and passion. However, as relationships mature , they become more complicated and are subject to difficult transitions and decisions.
If communication issues spiral out of control, conflict can persist and cause toxic cycles of behavior and reaction. In some cases, emotional or physical affairs can take place outside of the committed relationship. In all of these scenarios, what once felt like a blissful partnership can deteriorate into a pattern of antagonism, mistrust, and disagreement. Eventually, we will wonder if it’s even worth staying in a relationship that is causing pain on both sides.
Before assuming your relationship can’t be fixed, however, it’s important to give your marriage or partnership the opportunity to navigate and resolve your conflicts through counseling. It is possible to escape the patterns of miscommunication and gain perspective with the help of an unbiased and supportive therapist.
Couples Counseling Offers New Perspective On Your Marriage Or Partnership
Marriage or couples counseling has the potential to provide your relationship with the toolbox it needs to heal itself. Therapeutic sessions are designed to offer objective, nonjudgmental support around the unique needs of your partnership so that you can have designated time every week to come together with your significant other to discuss and negotiate your differences. With the guidance of a counselor, you can better understand the dynamics of your relationship—how they are affecting you as individuals, if resolution is possible, and what is necessary for that to happen.
As a well-established and commonly used model for couples therapy, The Gottman Method aims to “disarm conflicting verbal communication, increase intimacy, respect, and affection, […] and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.”[1] This model is designed to help all couples approach their relationship hurdles, regardless of age, sexual orientation, or economic status. One of the foremost recognized counseling models for marriage conflict, The Gottman Method has been used by a wide array of therapists looking to improve the lives of clients who are in long-term, committed relationships.
As a level-one certified practitioner of The Gottman Method, I believe in its power to either strengthen a relationship or bring clarity around the decision of decoupling in a healthy way. Using this model, I will spend half a session performing assessments on both individuals, respectively, before determining the best course of action based on the factors that are creating the most discord within the couple. If infidelity has taken place, I will work to understand what happened, why it happened, and how we might be able to work together to achieve a path forward. By gathering history about the relationship from both parties, I will have a better sense of problem areas and miscommunication.
Throughout our sessions together, I will engage you both in strengthening your partnership in areas like friendship, conflict, and developing meaning as a unit. Over time, you will begin to process and replace negative cycles with healthy communication patterns while working to re-envision and reinforce the goals you share. This process is designed to be personalized to the needs of your relationship, and as such, we will determine the duration of therapy together with your goals in mind.
Throughout my career, I have seen couples navigate and overcome extremely difficult situations with compassion and newfound respect for one another. Even the most challenging issues and biggest emotional injuries have been resolved with the unbiased and supportive help of a professional. With the power of counseling, your marriage or relationship can be healed.
Perhaps you are considering couples counseling for your marriage or relationship, but you have some questions…
I am concerned about the cost of couples counseling.
If you are worried about the cost of therapy, I encourage you to view the process as an investment in your relationship. Just like any other investment, it has the potential for a big, meaningful return for you and your partner. As mentioned previously, the couples counseling model I used is designed for your unique needs and to fit your schedule. I am interested in facilitating quick and impactful therapy for you and your partner, and you may be surprised by how swiftly you will see progress and find resolution during the process.
If cost is still a concern, please note that I do offer a free consultation in order to give you a sense of therapist-client compatibility. I also offer a sliding scale to help make marriage or couples counseling more affordable for you.
I am interested in seeing a couples/marriage therapist, but my partner does not think it is necessary.
I encourage you to think about ways that you might be able to help your partner to see the need for counseling, especially if there are consistent conflicts or issues of communication in your partnership. Therapy will help you both to express your needs more effectively. And while it is more ideal for couples to attend counseling sessions together, I have been successful in helping individuals navigate issues existing inside of their partnerships. Healing and growth are still possible in an individual context and hopefully, if your partner sees you benefitting from this work, they will want to take part in the process too.
I am afraid that this will make things worse for my relationship.
If you characterize things as “bad” now, then it is likely they won’t get better without some form of mediation. Therapy offers the opportunity to enter a neutral space together and work through persistent issues or problems with the guidance of an unbiased, compassionate, and expertly trained counselor. I am confident that the therapeutic process will shed insight into your partnership and provide you with the tools you need to make healthy decisions about the future of your marriage or relationship.
My partner and I are already separated or not yet married. Could couples counseling still be helpful?
Absolutely! Your relationship is going through its own evolution and coming to its own unique crossroads. Whether you are considering big decisions in your relationship or trying to reconcile ongoing issues, the perspective of a therapist can be hugely impactful in helping you to come to peace with the decisions you make about your marriage or relationship. Given that my counseling services are tailored to each couple’s specific needs, I will work to understand what exactly you are seeking clarity about and provide you with the resources you need to progress in your marriage or relationship.
You Can Find Answers To Your Relationship’s Most Pressing Questions
If your marriage or partnership is struggling with consistent conflict or miscommunication, counseling can help you find common ground and gain clarity around your relationship. To set up a free consultation, contact me or call (512)800-1118 today.
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