Have you and your partner been struggling in your relationship recently? Perhaps you’ve been fighting frequently, or maybe you’ve been disagreeing about major future decisions.
You might feel you’re at a loss for what to do next, but you’ve considered scheduling a session with a couples therapist for support. Yet when you asked your partner about their thoughts on couples therapy, they said that they did not want to go.
Going to couples therapy can definitely help you work through your relationship problems. However, couples therapy is only effective if both partners are genuinely committed to working together to fix their relationship.
If your partner says they do not want to go to couples therapy, here are a few tips that might help them accept the idea.
Listen to Your Partner’s Concerns
Don’t dismiss your partner’s concerns right away. Instead, let them know you want to listen. Take some time to find out why they’re resistant to going to couples therapy. They might not understand what couples therapy involves, or they might not understand why you want to go.
In fact, they may not realize that you’re unhappy in your relationship. It’s important to be patient during this conversation and resist the urge to refute their concerns right away – instead, be patient and hear them out.
Address Their Misconceptions
Your partner might be under the impression that going to couples therapy means that your relationship is already over. Reassure them it’s about building a brighter future together, and that going to therapy will actually help you stay together rather than pulling your relationship apart.
Some people also assume that a couples therapist will try to change their personality or blame one partner. Talk to your partner about how couples therapy can actually help you both focus on the strengths and gifts that you bring to the relationship.
It’s about recognizing the mistakes you’ve both made and learning how to improve together so you can move forward.
Suggest Different Methods
Maybe your partner just can’t get on board with the idea of seeing a therapist at their office. But they might be more comfortable with attending therapy sessions online from the comfort of your home.
Remember, therapists today can work with you in different ways – you don’t necessarily have to come into the office! Explain to your partner that you can go with whatever method feels best for both of you.
Try One Session
Perhaps your partner isn’t ready to fully commit to going to couples therapy long-term. But their hesitation might just be because they don’t fully understand what therapy entails first-hand.
Suggest to your partner that you try going to just one session together to give it a shot. They might be willing to go if they know that you’re just testing the waters for now.
If you have a positive experience, they might be open to going back for more sessions.
Accept Their Decision
What if you have had extensive, compassionate discussions with your partner about attending couples therapy together, and you have even tried going to a session or two – but your partner is still not willing to continue the process?
You may want to seek a new therapist, or you may need to accept that your partner is simply not ready for couples therapy. It could take more time for them to warm up to the idea, or a different therapy with another approach to therapy might be a better fit. Individual therapy to discuss your relationship is another option for both you and/or your partner.
Have you felt disconnected from your partner lately? You might be interested in pursuing marriage counseling, to heal your relationship. Contact me today to discuss scheduling a session together.