I see a lot of couples and individuals who are looking to build trust in their relationships. Sometimes an event such as infidelity causes a sudden and intense breach of trust. Sometimes over time, trust has been reduced as the relationship has evolved due to spending less time and participating in fewer activities together. Building trust is a slow process done in small steps, so it is important to be patient with the process. If you are looking for activities to build trust with your partner, here are three ideas to try.
Ask each other questions
Research has shown that asking each other questions can help build trust. Questions should be open-ended and viewed to better get to know your partner's world. If you have been with your partner for many years, some of the answers to these questions may have changed over time. Some questions that can be asked include asking about your partner’s favorite foods, sports, vacation destination, or hobbies. Other questions can address more substantive matters such as the biggest stress your partner is facing in their lives, what their biggest fears are, or which relative is currently causing the most stress. It is helpful for you each to ask the same question to each other which could spur a discussion. If you’d like you can try to guess each other’s answers in advance as well. After doing this exercise, you will hopefully feel closer to your partner, and you will both feel that each other knows what is going on in your lives which may not be the case due to other life distractions. This exercise can certainly build trust.
Talk about your feelings
Talking about your feelings can also build trust. As we go through everyday life, conversations may be focused on the children, your parents, your job, or the news. For some couples, it is uncommon to spend a lot of time focusing on your feelings. To discuss feelings further, ask your partner how they are feeling sometimes. Don’t just stop at a terse answer such as good or fine. Rather, ask probing questions and continue the dialogue. Always listen closely and be empathetic in your responses. Also, while having these discussions, try to avoid distractions such as scrolling through your cell phone or watching television. Try to just focus on each other and your partner's feelings.
Do activities together
Another way to build trust is to participate in activities together. Each couple will vary as to what they like to do together but the options are endless. It could be taking a walk or a class together. It could be talking about current events or another subject such as history or literature. It could be doing a project together such as crafts or building something. It doesn’t matter what you choose if it is time spent together and hopefully interacting in a meaningful and positive way. Physical affection can also be something you can do together including holding hands, hugging, or cuddling.
It is normal for trust to wane as a relationship progresses. Levels of trust between partners can change for many different reasons. The good news is that there are things you can do as a couple to build trust. If you are having trouble coming up with activities that can build trust, try asking each other questions, talking about your feelings, and doing activities together. If you are still having trouble with trust or any other issues in your relationship, marriage counseling can help. Contact me today to learn more and I can answer any questions you may have.