How to Keep Things Fresh When You’ve Been Married a Long Time

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You and your partner have been married a while now. That’s something to celebrate!

A relationship that is built on trust, mutual understanding, and love that has survived the trials of life is certainly to be cherished.

However, over time even the best relationship can feel stale and perhaps even a little boring. Yet, with some creativity and a willingness to try new things, couples can still keep things fresh.

Here are few ideas for how you can make this happen with your partner.

Go on Adventures Both Big and Small

One way to keep things fresh with your partner is to have fun, adventurous experiences together. For example:

Major trips:Trips give you both something to look forward to and are exciting. They allow you to break free from your everyday routines and habits. Consider traveling to new places and do activities that are outside of your comfort zones.

However, balance those experiences with the ones that you both enjoy sharing. For example, perhaps you go scuba diving during the day but eat dinner and enjoy a bottle of wine at a relaxing restaurant.

Weekend Excursions: Adventure doesn’t have to be limited to vacations. Weekends offer the opportunity to explore new places that are relatively close but still offer excitement. These can be more spontaneous and allow you to explore the hidden gems in your community and region.

Learn Something New Together

Another way to keep things fresh in your relationship is to learn something new together. This could be a new hobby, skill, sport, or an enrichment opportunity. For example:

  • Joining a book club together.

  • Taking an online enrichment course.

  • Playing a musical instrument.

  • Participating in a new sport or activity that you never tried before.

  • Cooking together!

When you think about it, there are so many opportunities out there that offer the chance to have new, shared experiences. Plus, it’s fun learning something new together!

Show Your Appreciation

One problem of getting stuck in a routine is that you forget to show your appreciation to one another. When you express your appreciation to your partner, you are reminding them they are special and mean so much to you. But there are plenty of ways that you can show your appreciation. For example:

  • Cooking your partners’ favorite meal.

  • Writing a kind note or card.

  • Doing something thoughtful that you know they will appreciate.

Also, don’t forget about small, caring gestures of affection. These are those moments when you give each other a hug, or a kiss goodbye and say, “I love you,” before you both go off to work. They are just little moments, but they still convey how much you care for one another.

Be Spontaneous (Within Reason!)

Spontaneity is certainly one way to keep things fresh in a relationship. In fact, some ideas listed above can occur in the moment, such as moments of affection. However, it’s helpful to use spontaneity within reason.

For instance, as adults with busy lives it can actually be stressful to be spontaneous with so much on your plates. A great spontaneous idea can backfire if it causes your partner stress. A better way to use spontaneity is by agreeing to do something spontaneous together, rather than surprising one partner or the other. By doing something together you are equally sharing in the experience, which will enhance your relationship.

Being married for a long time doesn’t mean that your relationship has to be boring. Use the ideas above to add a little spark and excitement to your marriage. However, if you and your partner having trouble finding that joy and wonder, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Reach out today to learn more about how marriage counseling can work. Contact me today for a free consultation.